Home again, home gain...

I think I've used that header before, which means I'm on the road waaayyy too much. We made it to Vancouver, checked out poor Lulu, hit Science World and had a visit and some amazing ice cream with my brother and his wife, who were gracious enough to let us stay with them and then drove us through rush hour traffic to get to the shop today. It took 50 minutes to get around the block and back onto the main road after we got the rental car. To go around 1 block, people! Every single intersection was blocked at every single light change by people pulling forward. 20 minutes to go straight through 1 light. So we missed a ferry, then there was a 2 sailing wait, and we couldn't reserve since I had no idea how long we'd be on the road...we ended up catching the 9:00 boat, after waiting 2 hours at the terminal. It was made much worse by an absolutely blinding headache, the likes of which I haven't had in a very long time. I packed a full med/first aid kit, but somehow the Advil was removed, and I didn't think (in my pain-induced haze) of checking at the terminal for a shop that sold meds. Eventually I did think of it and found a tube of 10 Motrin for $3.50. Worth every penny, though in the end I had to take 3 to tame the agony.

We rolled off the boat at 10:40, and had to get home and get Xander's quidditch costume on before we hit Bolen books for the launch. Somehow we hit every single green light - someone was looking out for us! and were home by 11:00, though normally it's at least 30 minutes to get home. And I barely sped! Got Xander dressed and went to the store, where we found an exasperated and exhausted Rob, talking into a headset like he was someone famous or something, and raced like crazy through the deserted mall - what a weird feeling that was! - to get to the Knight Bus at the back of the mall. We had to go through the length of the back room of the bookstore, which is huge, then make u-turn and go the same length and more back through the administrative hall (where all the stores have loading zones), which runs parallel to and directly alongside the store back room, then from there turn 90 degrees and go past about 5 stores in the mall, turn left 90 degrees again and go back the way we came through the mall. hard to describe - a complete zigzag, 3 full times before heading out a back door and going the length of the mall again in the opposite direction to get to the back loading zone. i think it'd make more sense with many diagrams, but needless to say, it was weird and exhausting, as we were running full out to get on the bus. And incredible surreal.

But we made it, and were able to ride along the whole line, screaming and whooping and hollering, in an open topped double decker bus filled with Harry Potter fans in marvelous costumes and with most excellent enthusiasm. it was a blast! X rocked in his Quidditch uniform (I'll load a picture soon). And now we have our HP book 7, though we're re-reading book 6 first.

Rob did an awesome job at organizing the event, along with his enthusiastic and fabulous staff, and it was a phenomenal success, with lots of media coverage and I'm guessing well over 2500 people in attendance. We didn't get home until 1:30.

And now its crazy late and I have packing for camping to get done, plus maybe luminara tomorrow if the rain holds off.

G'night!

My horoscope and then some!

If only all horoscopes were as helpful as this...

It's a great day to sit down and make a list of all those things that you do well. Consider this exercise as a way of taking a personal inventory. But to be completely honest, you must also include those things you want to improve about yourself. There is no need to be overly harsh in your judgment about your shortcomings. Don't try to change everything at once; just pick one or two things and then try to make them better.

Go on and try it - you know you wanna!


Anyways, the car seems to maybe slowly getting resolved. At least I have a mechanic and a time to pick up the loaner car - Friday, in Vancouver, but it's something, at least. They're closed the weekend, so I figure it'll be at least a week and a half, which will take me to the time we're done camping, so I should be able to go camping and enjoy it. I'll have to be more vigilant about carrying my phone with me, which sucks, but at least we can go. So now I can put those plans in motion. I'm not sure how the week will unfold and what time we'll head out on Sunday, but it gets dark late, so we should be able to get the tent up even if we leave in the afternoon. the rest is gravy.

I'm still worries about the Toyota thing, and how much we'll have to pay for it all, plus the ferry trips and the rental thus far, which is only partially covered. But it's only money (thank goodness for Rob's writing!) and no one was hurt, just shook up a whole lot. I have a lot of to-do's to figure out on top of the ones I've already made lists of, but the important stuff will get done and the rest...won't. C'est la vie!

Went to choir tonight and it was good. It was a lot of work for a drop-in, mostly spirituals Denis worked on during his workshop last week (one day I'll go - hopefully it won't always coincide with camp). But good to be back, singing. I'll miss the next 2 weeks, but for camping, so it'll be good. Luminara is this week too, but I managed to get us into a lantern workshop at the last minute (for tomorrow), so we don't need to worry about making lanterns before it happens. though I might bring lantern stuff camping and we can make some there and have our own little parade of lights one night. I'm going to skip the fancy pirate costume - did i already say that this week? I wish I could make it, but I want to make a nice, fitted (ie wench-like) laced bodice and I don't want to rush it. Plus if I loose a bit (a lot!) of weight it'll look better...shame to put in a lot of work and have it not fit.

So I don't need to worry about Luminara much - find the parts of Xander's pirate costume, organize my wings and urban fairy outfit - maybe if I'm inspired make a quick mask that'll fit over glasses...otherwise no mask and that's okay too.

Costume for Xander's Harry Potter stuff is a must, but I think it'll be pretty easy. We do need a new broom and golden snitch, since the dog ate the old ones, and I need to re-do a Quidditch sweater that fits, but the robes stuff fit, and the pads are good. That's for Friday night. I don't know if I'll bother dressing up - the concept is good but the timing isn't great. Dress-ups 2 nights in a row - unheard of!

Anyways, it'll all get sorted out. Tomorrow is garbage day and I have pet cages that need cleaning and the fridge to go through and so on, so I'm off to get busy.

More as I figure it out!

stupid spell check
doesn't
fix capitals,

so if i look all
ee cummings
that's why!

I think it might be that my formative years were in the 80's. There is absolutely nothing that says summer to me like a grand selections of songs from the 80's, played while driving, windows open, and tonight, sunroof open too. used to be we had a lovely convertible - not kid friendly, but a treat nonetheless. I miss Lulu (the van) dreadfully, and am royally pissed at absolutely no resolution with ICBC on even starting repairs. But driving around town tonight picking up camp photos and lemon meringue pie with the sunroof open did me some good. Unless it's just the sugar high from the pie...

I have reservations to go camping, leaving on Sunday, at Rathtrevor Provincial Park(http://www.env.gov.bc.ca/bcparks/projectgo/parks_pages/victoria/rathtrevor.html), in Parksville, here on Vancouver Island. Its reservation only, and the whole campground is pretty much booked for the summer within days of the reservations opening up. I booked 10 nights, and am damned if I'm going to miss out. Last year I waited too long and had to settle for another park about 1/2 hour away, which was still lovely, but not the same at all. And we have friends joining us - one of X's close friends, his mom and his younger sister, for a couple of nights, plus maybe some other guests. So this car thing has got to be figured out ASAP. Even if I go with a loaner car, it'll suffice. But I need to figure out where Lulu is going to get repaired, and get my hands on a loaner...

Plus there's Harry Potter Friday night, a very big deal since Rob is the event coordinator for Bolen Books and they're hosting a skookum big launch party that X and I need to attend. Followed by avoiding all media and internet until i read the book - camping, right? Though Saturday night is also Luminara, and i also don't want to miss that - its become an annual tradition for X and I. We're going to a lantern making workshop on Wednesday, and were to be dressing up in pirate costumes - I had hoped to create a pirate princess outfit (when else can I get away with wearing my skull tiara?), but wanted to do the fitted bodice and everything and that might have to wait. I can always pull on my fairy wings, of course.

Anyways, we're still at square one, though I hope to have more answers tomorrow. And hopefully a shop for lulu, even if it means going over Thursday to meet with people and pick up a loaner car and start to hash it all out. So long as I'm back by Friday night, even if I take the last ferry.

Poor Lulu...poor me!

So at the beginning of camp I had a car accident - no one was hurt, it was the best scenario that could've been under the circumstances, but... It took me from camp, dealing with BCAA and then ICBC, trying to figure out where to have it towed, what to do with it. Working with the camp staff because of the damage there. Getting a rental car. people at camp were amazing - they had Lulu (the van) unpacked and were setting up my room, making my bed, putting up lights, putting flowers in vases for me to enjoy, without my having to even ask. There were hugs and support, and loads of compliments for my calmness under the circumstances.

Now however, I have one hell of a headache to deal with. It was only towed to Coquitlam, which I thought would be okay, but no one is taking ownership - it needs to go to Toyota to get the brakes looked at, it needs bodywork, and there was previous cosmetic damage I'd left alone that complicates the work that now needs to be done. I want it on the Island, but it'll be out of pocket, and all the shops on the mainland I've called have also recommended that i get it here. I'm looking at several hundred dollars to do so. My rental car is only covered for a few days, so I'm out of pocket from that, though if I find a shop with a replacement car, at least that'll be covered. I'm reserved for camping on Sunday, for 10 nights and don't want to miss out on that. I need that to look forward to. It should have been easy to figure out where to take it - so i thought. I guess my other option would be to go and stay in Vancouver for a few days while its getting looked over...

I'm waiting to hear from my claims adjuster now, to see what she recommends, and how much the barge would be. Sigh.

BIG sigh. Now is when I need a song or 2 and maybe a couple of those great hugs. Though I do know that I won't dwell on it for long and will get positive soon. I'm just waiting for that to happen...

Post NWTC

It seems that every year, after camp, I experience the craziest need to just sleep and be alone to decompress, to relive experiences and conversations, to have song after song play in my head. To need the time to just close my eyes and recreate that hug, this moment. As if by doing so I can imprint them on my memory in a more tangible way. My skin feels itchy, being touched by others is bothersome, noise and sounds annoy me in the worst way. Like nothing can be allowed to interfere as I assimilate all that was camp into my psyche, into my very bones, to be able to call it forth when needed in the dark days of winter.

Curiously, last year I didn't work as hard at maintaining camp relationships. I didn't travel as much, stopped emailing. I don't know why, or what started it. Last year's camp was an amazing experience and maybe it was enough to keep me going. Or maybe the desire to maintain contact fled. It was a very hard year, after all. And I wasn't in a place to open up and share. I passed though towns where camp friends were and felt that old shyness creep up and constrict me, keep me from calling. This year, all I want is to figure out when people might be gathering, try to see where I might fit in visits. A trip back east? South to Phoenix? That huge conference in Chicago in November where so many convene?

I feel the need to gather it all close inside. I had a shitty time at camp in many ways - with the van accident, I was incredibly fractured, pulled out of the moment continually. I was stressed about Xander's experience, which was not what either of us had hoped for, despite all our preparation for change. The mix of people was different, expectations weren't met at times, and I didn't get much time to visit with some of the people I dearly wanted to, and had mixed experiences with others. Yet this year, much more than last, I want to reach out more, which, quite frankly, boggles me. Am I trying to make up for what I didn't get? Trying to expand on what did work, to strengthen the experiences that were positive? There were moments - a couple of hugs that seemed to stretch into eternity, right when I needed them the most, a couple of private conversations that gave me a better understanding of the people I was with. Moments with some that I don't often get, and new friendships that have the potential to blossom beautifully. Walls knocked down and new levels of friendship built. All while struggling to find my place, to make some sense of what was going on, while forced to deal with the practical.

I know this is a babbly entry. Its hard to put into any sort of concise words. But right now, I feel the need to store it up, soak it in, build it into my very being, so that, when things are bleak, dark and lonely, I don't feel as lonely, or as afraid or shy to reach out.

That's about it. To new friends. To recreating old relationships. To skin hunger and music, laughter and tears. To trusting that things can be okay, that there are good people in the world, who don't see shyness as snobbery. To driving down the freeway with the top off, to hearing songs in the darkness, singing lullabies to friends, hugs that nourish like I was a child. To math riddles and being acknowledged as someone who did something right. To being in that place of grace, being safe, being loved and appreciated. To true, unflinching eye contact, and silly inside jokes. To knowing songs that others know, and some that no one else does. To stepping outside of the comfort zone, making music and making friends. Asking for a backrub, 'doing it right'.

To NWTC. I don't think you realize how very important you are to me. Thank you.