I'm weary and dispirited

I'm heading to bed as soon as I'm done his because I'm not getting enough sleep. Once again there just aren't enough hours in the day and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I went to the Learning Disabilities resource Centre today and got a tutor for Xander. I don't think I'm admitting defeat, but it feels like I've let him down on some level, even though I know we've been really working hard at the reading. He needs something different, and I think maybe someone different, to get him back on track at least. Its like I was saying to him today - when he goes to swim lessons, he does things for his teachers he'd never do for me, likewise with dance and musical theatre and skating...It isn't usually a problem with jobs and work he likes, such as math or science or socials. But other jobs, or things that feel too much like work, he'll dig in his heels. So hopefully this will e a good thing for him - its certainly pricey enough! But I have to get over the feelings of not meeting his needs in terms of reading/literacy, and let someone else help. I still think he's 100% better off than he'd be at a school.

And then I feel like I've been letting others down - I haven't been in contact with camp people, or sent away the tape I haven't made. we haven't done thank you cards for Xander's presents, I haven't uploaded my Hollyhock music and sent it out, or contacted any of the people from there that I meant to.

I'm behind on laundry, dishes, and all the housework that got halfway done before we got the computers, which I've failed to set up. plus moving the bunny cage, finishing setting up our daycare space, getting Xander's work completely going. Creating a unit study of ancient Greece and the mythology. registering him for other swim lessons, exploring music lessons or other active classes. I missed out on any dance or arts classes for myself, which is fine, since I'm doing choir and Rob'll be gone or busy with events most nights anyways.

I haven't started an eating plan, or even tried to keep junk food out of the house and out of my body. I haven't been walking the dog, or getting any exercise, or enough sleep. I'm not taking care of myself.

I've been too busy to archive Rob's reviews - not that I know where they all are right now, actually. I'm neglecting him too.

I know things are actually going very well. I just spend so much of my time ensuring others are content, or happy, or cared for and already I've let my own stuff slide. I feel I can't do good stuff for me (other than choir, which has become a physiological need) until I do all the things I need to do, as listed above, and then some.

But the reality is that the house is a mess, I'm not where I should be for homeschooling (I have to submit our lesson plan pronto), I'm physically in rough shape and need to pull it together...

Arg!

Anyways, this is far too depressing and negative, which I'm trying not to be, so I shall stop right here.

Sleep should help!

These are fun!

Dash You scored 30% Sociability and 52% Sophistication!

There's no denying that you have a certain flair. You don't mind being around others, especially your little brother, the hyphen, but you rarely emerge except when needed. You respond well to those who know how to treat you, but have only contempt for those who don't--you tend to embarass them every chance you get. Your only enemy is the colon--he will sometimes try to move in on your turf.

Pretty sure I don't agree with the embarassing others part. The rest is kinda spot on...and a dash does have a certain flair!

Well, THAT didn't take long.

The honeymoon is over. I now fully despise the rain again. In the time it took for me to go to the garage and back - not far - down the steps, 10 feet along the front of the house (under the very drippy ornamental plum tree) and another 30 feet, maybe, along the side of the house and back, I got drenched- soaked to the skin in cold rain. Warmish rain is fun to play in. Not so cold water.

I am not a happy camper. Damp, soggy perhaps, but less than impressed to say the least.

Off to dry the glasses and get into warm clothes!

Here comes the rain again...

I have to admit I'm procrastinating. AGAIN. There, now that that's out of the way...

I am a summer girl. There is absolutely no way to get around it. I get sad when I see the leaves turn, miffed when they have the audacity to fall. Really ticked when the island rains begin and our long season of sameness hits - wind, rain, more wind, clouds, some sun, then back to the wind and rain. I'd be more accepting, slightly, if I didn't live in a house with quite so many leaks and drainage problems. Or if I didn't have to traipse outside in said rain and/or wind to do laundry. Which is one of the things I'm avoiding right now.

Because its raining.

I have to admit, in a perverse way, because its the first rain in over a month, I do like the sound of it. Just like I enjoy the sound when I'm camping and it rains (because I have a curse, it always rains when I camp.). But being inside and listening to the sound is lovely. For one day. Then it can stop, thank you very much. Days of deluge are just not for me. Maybe its in part because where I live, we get sun for about 4 months, and rain for the rest. not snow, or other recognizable signs of seasonal changes. Rain. And wind, of course. So tonight, other than having to go and do laundry, which requires going out in the rain, I can accept the sound and even enjoy it a bit. Knowing, having checked the Weather Network, that not only is is only forecast for tonight, but that they're predicting an unseasonably warm and dry fall.

Hopefully it won't rain for our ferry trip tomorrow morning. We've never taken this ferry and I'm looking forward to it, but it won't be as pretty in the rain. And Galiano won't be as fun to explore. And maybe people won't come pout to Rob's reading. So here's hoping for drier skies in the morning!

And so it begins...

I've been horribly negligent with all my e-correspondence (and snail mail obligations too, to be honest). School/daycare has started, plus all the busy book stuff, Xander's extracurricular classes and everything else that makes the beginning of September what it is when you work in the school system. And so I haven't emailed good friends who've been far more on the ball, or updated here, or any of the other things I should be doing that I let slide to the wayside...

So dear friends, I shall get it together soon, really, truly...Of course, we're away this weekend...and next week is darn full...and then the next weekend is a family celebration (late for Xander's birthday, and Rob's away as of the Sunday..And we're in Vancouver the next weekend...Somewhere in there, though, I'll get back on track, and in the meantime, I've not forgotten you!

Anyways, once again, seriously sleep deprived and just taking 5 minutes before I climb between the sheets...A few thoughts though...

• The Producers is a damn fine movie. I'm sure anyone not interested in Broadway musicals would disagree, as it is very much in the old tradition of musical movies. But it stays so true to the stage version, and simply is wonderful. Unlike other, much anticipated stage to screen adaptations such as Rent and Chicago. Sadly disappointing. But how cool is it that I am able to make direct comparisons, having seen all 3 on stage, Producers only once without all the original cast, Rent and Chicago many, many times, with original cast several of those times. I am a lucky girl!
• I need to go back to New York. Rob and I were talking, and Xander and I were talking, and its agreed that we need to return, for a goodly amount of time. A Chorus Line is being revived! How cool is that? And Les Mis, but its barely been gone, and was overdue to go, so I'm not sure how excited I am about that. Though for Xander to be able to see it would be incredibly cool too. I think he's old enough now. But how to fit in New York and Disneyland? We shall have to do some figuring. And we've been invited to Quebec for Carnival with my brother and his wife and our parents...what an experience that would be. it's going to be a very full year - like it hasn't been full already!
• My brain is very, very full and I'm just dumping randomly. So be it!
• Work has been very hectic and not entirely pleasant. I hope it improves. I had an embarrassing (professionally) situation today with a youngster who had an accident just as the parent arrived...I was given this new child to care for - new to me, not the school, and was not told the extent of her special needs, nor indeed, what I needed to know in areas such as toileting and her limited language skills. So it was unfortunate that I didn't know her needs and mom walked in just after she'd soiled herself. But then again, if I wasn't told, how could I know? Still, I have to make good with the mom in the morning and it rather sucks..on the little's first day too.
• Still haven't resolved the computer networking/email stuff yet - probably won't until next week, as tomorrow is pretty full, ending with a dance class for Xander late, and early the next day to Galiano, where Rob's doing an event at our friend Lee's store. We're excited, and she and her partner have graciously opened their house to us too, so we get a vacation and visit as well
• Rob's book is still doing well - better and better, with spots on all sorts of bestseller lists - unofficial at this point, but it will come! It's incredibly intense and unbelievable and I'm so proud and a little stunned (but so is he!). The good news keeps pouring in, and there's still film deals, and Frankfurt book fair in October, and then the US sales and the Canadian trade publication has been moved up and, and, and...wow!
• I'm trying to figure out how best to approach Xander's reading problems - intense focus, or ease off and let it come, or something in between. It really sucks, because usually I'm incredibly confident and follow my gut and just go with it with anything to do with kids...no problems at all. But I'm doubting myself and questioning my decisions and that's really weird and hard.
• I'm back at choir and am absolutely loving it. I am determined to make music more a part of my life, to develop my voice and my skills, to sing just for fun more, and not care who's listening. I've discovered so much abut my voice this summer. The actual physical way I sing has changed, in several ways. I'm breathing differently, which helps hold the notes. I am developing an ear for pitch and actual notes, which helps. I finally know how to sing in harmony, technically, though the execution is not the same as the understanding of the principals. But that will come. And I sing differently. The sounds get formed in the back of my mouth now, rather than the front, and I can hold my note, be more accurate and way stronger. My voice sounds lower, and way less breathy. Its so cool. I am gaining such confidence and its putting a huge bounce in my step, which I love. I'm going to try to head to choir twice a week when possible this season, just for the joy of singing with others. If I had more time, I'd look into a second choir - there's a local neighborhood non-audition just down the road starting up and it'd be cool to be one of the original members. Or the gospel choir - that's be fun too. Another time, of course! This allow is doing wonders
• So the weight loss thing is not working so well. I do not have any self restraint around junk food, and around ensuring I eat regularly. But I've decided once again to push it back - just until after Galiano, I think. I need to get all the junk food out of the house and not bring more in!
• I had an interesting physio session today. My left arm and hand get very numb a lot, and I was talking with Ross about it, and he decided to try some different acupuncture. He put a needle in my chest, right near my collarbone, measuring very carefully to get the right spot. I didn't feel anything tangible in my arm, though it has felt better today, since the appointment. But what I felt, immediately, was my upper lip going numb, like dental anesthetic wearing off, and my eyes numb and watering. Then Ross put a matching needle in the other side and the feeling intensifies. I told Ross and he showed me a chart with the meridians, and I felt it exactly where the meridians went. How cool and weird is that? I respond very well to the acupuncture, and I guess this is another example.

I need to stop there. The room is spinning, I'm so exhausted. Holy typos! Hopefully spell check will get most of them! I'm not looking through this for them.

Sleepily signing off!

"Before I Wake", Robert J Wiersema

Okay, Its sooo past my bedtime. But I had a thought. I blog about Rob a lot, and the book and the book stuff, and I have a link to his website. So how come, when we Google him (and yes., you know we do - far more than we should). Whys'it that this here blog never comes up? So I thought, what if I put all the info into the title, and again in body - wait for it, its coming - I'd see if it comes up on a Google search. But I won;t search now - I'll see if it comes up when Rob does it in the morning. Okay it is morning. But later in the morning...

And I can use this place to proudly announce - again - that's it has hit #5 on the Maclean's bestseller list...3 weeks after publication, 1 week after publicity and media and launch date.

Here it is:
Before I Wake
Robert J Wiersema
Random House Canada
On sale: Aug.8, 2006
Pub. date: Aug 25, 2006

I'm too lazy to look up the ISBN, and no, I don't have it memorized!
But perhaps Rob does...

Anyways, if you want it, call your local independent bookseller...or check it out on www.amazon.ca, where you see how its ranked on sales ratings!!!! (Top 30, more often than not!!!!!)

Damn stupid *&$%#^* computers

I just blogged my heart out on the new computer which won't network with the other 2...spent the whole day, both Rob and I, working on it, poor Xander just kept himself busy. And they still won't work. And now this computer blocked my spellcheck and somehow opened a new page and lost my blog, without saving it to draft or anything, and I have absolutely no idea why or how. No warning screen. nothing.

Basically, I was having a not-so-mild freak out of all the things I need to do before bed, which won't be at midnight, that's for sure. And how I have no brain space to even contemplate what I need for tomorrow or anything else for that matter.

Urg and arrgh and aahhh and all that funky jazz.

I'm am in a serious mood and it s a good thing for my boys that they're fast asleep. They would be too close to the fallout area.

Off to:

• do dishes
• laundry
• clean out the fridge
• install Microsoft Office
• set up email accounts
• put away Chinese takeout
• feed pets
• get stuff together for tomorrow

way too much to do!

Revelations

So I'm almost on a roll with the cleaning.

But I'm stymied...

First, many thanks to Rob who cleared off "2 and 75/100ths" worth of shelf space for me. Apparently he reads these late night offerings - and reads more into them than he's meant to...or not enough - honey, you were supposed to offer up that entire room you call a study....
Really, though - it was a rant and nothing more and I am very grateful for the shelf space that was immediately put to use - with Rob's help even!

The stymied part:
Anyways, I'm on a cleaning roll, which actually sucks a lot, because I need to get to bed very soon so I can do the computers during the day tomorrow, rather than sleeping in until noon again (I'd feel more embarrassd if I hadn't been up till 4:15 am or later 2 nights in a row). There is an inordinate amount of papers to be sorted. Many of them are stationary and school supply type things, that need to go into containers, post sorting, on the shelves I've not finished. I bought cheap and, more importanly, easy to put up, shelves for the kitchen. But they're small and not sturdy enough which means that I'll be building shelves after all, which is what I've been avoiding. Not from scratch, but from kits, but not the simple melamine ones either - pine shelves that require a large number of screws which need my electric drill to put in. If I didn't have to head to bed, I'd do that tonight so Ii can start emptying boxes.

The other papers - Xander's school papers pre-homescholing, which need to be filed, last years work, also needing to be filed. All the workbooks and schoolbooks and programs I have for homeschooling, many of which, thankfully, are at least semi-organized. The rest to be organized... Then my stuff- household receipts and bills and pay stubs and stuff. Medical papers to be filed. Insurance stuff to be dealt with. My journals and notebooks and planners and all the other stuff I accumulate.

Aside here - the main revelation from the title - I have found a disturbingly large number of journals and notebooks and workbooks with all my weight loss plans - clearly unsuccessful. What the hell am I going to do? How will I do it differently so that I stick to it and it works? I quite frankly, like junk food and convenience foods and don't like fruits and veggies very much at all. Xander does come by it naturally, though it was hugely exacerbated by his school. Anyways, what is going to make it stick? How am I going to deal with it, find the time, energy, motivation and headspace to get my weight down where it should be? I'm kind of leaning towards a bootcamp, but its too late this time around. But I'll try to set some goals and a plan I can stick with and get on it. I was supposed to begin this Tuesday, but I'm postponing, for the FINAL TIME, until after Galiano, next weekend. This cleaning (and procrastinating) has been more work than I anticipated, plus all the back to work and homeschooling stuff.

Anyways, I also have a myraid of pens, pencils, glue sticks, stickers, etc to sort and put away. Once I get the shelves up I can deal with a lot of it, and then I can sort the rest while watching my tv shows which start soon. Authorman Rob has used a chunk of his money not only for the new computer, but also for a PVR and I'm very excited about this. I loved using my brother Terry's when we housesat for him. Pause, rewind and record tv as its on? Program it to automatically catch all your shows when you go away? How cool is that? And good for Rob, ad me, as he'll be away a lot, and he can catch his shows and I don't have to mess around with the VCR or worry about remembering...Yay!

Anyways, so that sorting can take place after the rest, and I truly plan on continuing to plug away for an hour or 2 every day until its done.

We'll see.

But I have lot of junk and stuff and crap and important stuff too, which i need to find homes for and its truly stupid that now I've cleared enough of it and sorted enough that I can actually see what needs to be done and where I'm going with it, and I need to stop. I'm worried I'll not get back into the swing of things soon. I need to be in the right mood and it all jsut works - I get into an amazing cleaning flowstate adn I'm there now. So I'm stymied..stay up and go with what's working, but be tired tomorrow whaen i'm fiddling with computers and all that stuff? Or head to bed and risk losing this flow...

I think there was more, but I can't remember now, so I'm off to finish the clearing out a space for the computer on my worktable. And a printer, too - a large one. Actual cleaning to take place at a time TBA.

I'm even more behind schedule, because I slept in (which I needed), then we went downtown, which was fun, but took a lot of time, and then to Walmart, which we also needed, but was way less fun and took even more time. And somewhere in there I got really sick with a hideous headache. The day is actaully a blur - if I think hard I can remember it, but its like a dream. So we got home late in the afternoon, Xander didn't do any of his math he wants to get done, and instead of cleaning, I ended up seriously crashing, having imbibed a huge mass of strong painkillers, after lying in bed shivering and unable to move. When I woke a couple of hours later, it was Xander's bedtime, I had a slight fever and was incredibly overheated and the headache had subsided but not completely disappeared. So that was a whole day gone right there....

Okay, I think I need to finish the little stuff and leave the rest, even though I don't want to. But I can't waste a whole day again - I have way too much to do.

Boy I'm whiny right now - good thing I can vent here and not impose it on someone who doesn't have the option of walking away...

How I'm avoiding the housework tonight...

Actually, I'm doing a very good job, working on the messiest, nastiest bit of the house. Problem is, its my stuff, and there is no place to put it all. Somehow in the grand scheme of things (and me being me, I guess), I've made sure, repeatedly, that there is room for all of Rob's books and stuff, and for Xander's toys and stuff...There is no place for my stuff - books, craft supplies, papers, etc. I used to share a room with Rob that became Xander's when he was born and that was the start of it...What is now Rob's study was a room we rented out to a good friend of ours. Then Xander got his room, Peter had by then moved out and that (large) room became Rob's study. My stuff ended up in the garage and the bedroom, with some in the kitchen. Then we discovered the mold in Xander's ceiling, and his room became storage. His bed and dresser came into our room, and his toys into the living and family rooms...now overrun. Things like display shelves for his Buddha collection have followed, of course. I tried to claim part of the living room for homeschooling last year and the enormous table set aside for that has since been buried under all the things I own that don't have a home. Now I needs must clear off said gigantic table'o'crap and find homes for all the stuff without homes, so we can move the computer there.
In a house full of books, most of mine are in boxes, unless they're for the whole family or work - health and fitness, childcare. I think I'm gonna have to box up more- most of my sci-fi/fantasy, to make room for other stuff. Its frustrating and makes me long for a bigger house, with a room all of my own, just for all my belongings. Or a space in the main house where they'd be welcome.

Anyways, what I'm doing now is de-cluttering, moving crap from one place to another, tearing out my hair in frustration and imagining my dream house. But space is being found, slowly but surely...of course space in other places, the kitchen table, for instance, is now at a premium. I suspect that this will not be done by midnight on Monday. If I can get the computers set up and the living room back into a semblance of of order, that'd be a very good start. And then maybe the front room - the computer area will have to be cleaned so I can set up the computer. Cleaned, not just cleared by shoving everything into new piles, or boxes...But I really need to tackle Xander's toys, with his assistance, as they are taking over and have no order whatsoever right now.

My goal is to have the house clean enough that I can come home after work and find a chair to actually sit in and be able to look around and not feel this intense pressure to get up and start cleaning... Neat enough that a few minutes a day (from all 3 of us) will keep it maintained. Then I want to start looking for a new home, temporary while we tear down and rebuild, but big enough hopefully for us and our stuff.

Anyways, what I was doing while taking this now too long break was looking up Prader Willie Syndrome. Friends (a lovely couple) whom we've fallen out of touch with came to Rob's launch here (for several they were teaching overseas, and then she was doing a Masters in Poetry in England). They brought their adorable 4 month old son with them, and he has PWS. It near broke my heart to feel Y hold my hand and tell me, squeezing me and holding on...They're coming to acceptance, and have been meeting other families with children with PWS, but they have a long road ahead of them. I was pretty sure I knew most of the prognosis and so on, and after checking, found I was right, though I didn't know that many children are able to work with their learning disabilities and are not always cognitively delayed. There is, of course, the eating component, which is what comes to mind first, and the low muscle tone. I didn't know about slow maturity and the fact that many never become fully sexually mature, though some do. Its chromosomal, 70% from the father, and not easily detectable in screenings. He's a beautiful baby, and has arrived into a very good family, with education backgrounds and the ability and willingness to go out and learn all they can and be strong advocates for him. But they still will have a rough road at times. They're in my thoughts a lot right now.

Something to make me smile... My dear friend Billie from camp has got a new phone plan that includes unlimited calls to Canada (she's in Milwaukee). So I had a lovely chat tonight and it was grand to hear her voice. I need to check flights her way more, because I'd love to go and visit and meet her family and hang out in her home daycare, which sounds amazing. It was a perfectly timed call, just as the summer's ending. It reminded me of all the contacts I need to maintain this year, for myself and others!

It's the little things...

...in life that matter sometimes.

I just had some tears. Not sadness, exactly, but bittersweet, and to many out there, it will seem extremely silly, and maybe it is. But the feelings are real nonetheless.

So a few days ago, before Xander's birthday, I wrote about my sadness about him growing out of little-kid-dom. I'm cleaning the kitchen and preparing to set up some shelves in there to hold craft supplies and stationary and the like. And to do so, I had to take down his little kitchen. It hasn't been used in a couple of years, and even before that he never really spent much time there. But it still was magical.

In the corner of our very large and horribly designed kitchen there was an eating nook. Basically 2 benches fixed to the wall, probably about 50 years ago or more. For a while we had our table there too, but it was awkward, so we moved the table into the room. The benches, not removable, have been used for storage - we had a whiteboard above one for years

Aside here - another memory that came up when I was cleaning. When the whiteboard was there, Xander, as a 21 month old - very tiny, was obsessed with drawing on it. The pictures he drew then were amazing - faces, complete with eyes, nose, mouth, eyebrows, ears, hair, neck - incredibly detailed. NOT what a not yet 2 year old draws. They were at the level of a 6 year old. Seriously. I know kids' art and this was way above his level. Not stick figures, but full fledged heads and bodies. Even at 4, a typical kid's drawing of a body would have the arms and legs coming directly out of the head - its how they see things. Numbers of eyes, mouths and so on is flexible...Anyways, spontaneously and without any prompting he would stand on this bench that was almost his height and draw away. We have photos and video - if I remember to dig them out, I'll post something here. Then, just after his 2nd birthday, he stopped drawing and when he picked up a pencil again, it was quite a while after that - and he drew just like any 2 year old. He's only just begun in the past year to actually like drawing and to spontaneously draw. For several years he did everything he could to avoid drawing and colouring (which he still doesn't enjoy). Maybe its the dyslexia, maybe something else...his brain was busy developing other skills. His art classes have changed that, and I'm thrilled. But somewhere in his mind...collective consciousness? Past life memories/experiences? Somehow, he knew how to draw people, in detail, and we never taught him...

Anyways, I was cleaning tonight and pictured him in his little footed pj's standing (barely - wobbling to and fro) and drawing these amazing pictures...Then I thought about our plans to tear down the house, and all the things that would go - those benches (which I really despise!). The doorjamb with his height marked on it - though that I'm going to try to save somehow...I just got that sad feeling.

Anyways again...the little kitchen was magic, because Santa brought it...I think maybe when Xander was 2 1/2..maybe 31/2...curse my pathetic memory...Santa, aided completely by me. I built a raised wooden counter with a hole cut into it for a sink - I asked his sitter's dad who has the tools and workshop to do that for me. I painted the parts, got shelf paper that looked like a countertop and papered it. Found 2 silver drawer pulls for taps and a long silver drawer handle which I attached at one end to make a faucet. I took another piece of wood, papered the ends and left the center white, cut 4 circles from balck contact paper and made stove burners. Took trim and 4 drawer pulls and made the knobs for the stove. How I imagined it all up is beyond me. How I made it, last minute, right before Christmas, is a blur...I don't think I slept at all.
The wonder on his face - that Santa could do such magic...The memories of him puttering...the tea parties we had with his teeny china tea set...all that is irrevocably in the past, never to be returned to. Little things, small things...but important to me, regardless.

I know that partly its because I'm beginning to give up on the idea of having another child, and I'm really grieving that. And I'm really not ready for him to be so big a kid. Is this going to be the Christmas that the Santa questions come up? How will we deal with them? Can we keep him innocent for another year? I truly hope so...not being in school might help with that, buit will it be harder for him to be older and still beleive when others don't? Will the discovery when he's older be embarrassing if he's the oldest? These aren't questions that have answers...they're the kind of thing I ponder though.

Silly silly me, typing with tears rolling down my face for something so small. But as I said, sometimes its the little things. We forget to seize the moment, to enjoy the little things, to play and have fun and just let them be kids. To experience the world from where they are. I think I'm luckier than most becasue I haven't lost that completely, nor do I think I will. And I get to be with other kids all the time, which is a joy too (mostly!). Parents who are always rushing their kids to be more mature, to stop chattering, to be independent, to not be silly, who don't let their kids dream and imagine and run wild a little bit, who expect them to be adults in miniature - they're not only doing their children a grave diservice, they're missing out on the fundamental point of having kids - to see the world in and through their eyes, to help them explore the world and to enjoy the ride along the way. Every once in a while I catch myself with that 'hurry up' or 'shhh, quit babbling' attitude and I try to stop right away. Other times I find myself hushing Xander when there's other adults who are less understanding of 'kidness', of trying to get him to conform to these mini-adult expectations and I hate myself for doing it. He is one of the most well behaved, relaxed and easy-going kids I've ever met, and we're so lucky. So when he gets little a wound up, he's moving into most kids' normal way of being. His hyper is regular kid everyday behaviour. I don't want to hush or squash that, and I'm going to work on that more this year.

So I went on one of my usual tangents. At least the tears have slowed...not quit, but its a trickle now, not a torrent.

Its after 3:00am. I have a couple of little jobs I still want to accomplish before I roll inot bed, so I'm off. But I needed to write this to help me process it. Its the last of the "little kid" stuff to be packed away. All the other toys are packed up or at the daycare, the clothes are packed, the books in boxes. This was the last remaining vestige of Xander's toddler and preschool days and it needed to be put away. But it was a hard thing to do. Very hard. I'm glad I did it at night when I was alone. I needed that.

Done.

The State of the Whimsical Girl

Okay

Here I am once again avoiding housework. If I actually kept up with it (and my boys helped), it'd never get this bad. I have a self-imposed deadline of midnight Labour Day, made more pressing because we just bought a new computer, and space needs to be made for the old one, and the new one needs to be installed, and files transferred and all that. How sad is it that setting up computers and playing with the files is my reward for cleaning?

Stuff that's been going on (as I avoid cleaning):

Rob's 2 launches were rousing successes. Victoria was HUGE, and Vancouver slightly less so, but attended by family and many good book folks

Rob has, in the past week or so, done media at:

• A Channel News (in studio)
• Chek 6 News (in studio and live at his Victoria launch)
• CBC 1 - All Points West, all of BC except Lower Mainland
• CFAX radio - am show with Joe Easingwood
• CFAX radio - afternoon edition with Eric...
• recorded with Bravo TV at his Vancouver launch
• article and review in Times Colonist
• article and review in Vancouver Sun
• amazing review in Globe and Mail
• article and review in Monday Magazine (2 separate editions)
• article and review in Victoria Newsgroup papers (2 separate editions)
• review in Georgia Straight newspaper
• review in North Shore News
• review in Hamilton paper
• review in Halifax Gazette

That's it, I think, though he has another interview with CBC, and who knows what else

He is currently #5 on the Maclean's Bestseller list!!!!

He's been regularly under 100 in the amazon.ca rankings, often in the top 25 books

Life is very good for Mr Robert J Wiersema. And for his family therefore, as well.

His first official event is at Galiano Books, on Galiano Island Sept. 9, 2:30. Hosted by the lovely Lee Trentedue (sp?). We're super pumped. The next week he's off to places west of here for a week and a half, then home again before he hits the road on a madcap tour...

For anyone new to this stuff, or simply not 'in the know'....

This is NOT NORMAL for a first time author. Not the media, not the sales and certainly not the very quick rise to the bestseller list. This is much cause for celebration, because many first time Canadian authors would be happy for the sales he's already had - over their entire publication time of said first novel. Its remarkable and fabulous - a credit to his creativity and amazing writing skills, but also to his reputation in the book world and in the media world...the massive marketing machine is not to be sneezed at, for it gains him the chance to bring his book to a much larger audience than would happen if it were simply out and sitting on shelves.

Anyways...enough about Rob, since this is my blog and I deserve some attention too...especially since I'm the one behind the scenes cleaning and setting up new computer equipment for him to create on.

Not that I have much else to say. Fall is rapidly approaching and I am sad about this. I am a summer girl, always have been and I suspect I always shall be. That being said, fall is the new year for me and I have plans - weight loss and getting fit being a #1 priority. Clean house and keeping it that way another. Possibly moving into a less leaky and falling apart home high on the list too - and boy will I complain long and hard then! Not about the new home (I hope) but about the process of moving.

Not much else at the top of my brain right now. I guess I must get to it. Its not even so much cleaning right now (though that's part of it). Its shuffling all the stuff we own around (again) and trying to make it all fit into the same small space we had 8 years ago, despite the fact that we accumulate so much stuff every year, every month, that it becomes impossible to accommodate it all.

Here goes...

Something fun and disturbingly accurate....

So I don't normally do these online questionnaires that sort and categorize you, but every once in a while a fun one comes along. A friend posted her results on her blog and I thought I'd give it a try. The results were way too accurate for 10 silly questions that didn't seem very coherent even. But here you go - it was fun, and hey, I gained insight without even looking for it!

The Oracle 0% Extroversion, 100% Intuition, 27% Emotiveness, 90% Perceptiveness

Heuristic, detached, and analytical to a fualt, you are most like The Oracle. You are able to tackle any subject with a fine toothed comb, and you possess an ability to pinpoint nuances and shades of meaning that other people do not have and cannot understand. Accomplishment and realization of ideas are, for you, secondary to the rigorous exploration of ideas and questions -- you are, first and foremost, a theorist. You hate authority, convention, tradition, and under no circumstances do you accept a leadership role (although, you will gladly advise leadership when they're going astray, whether they want you to or not). Abstraction and generalities are your interests, details and particulars are usually inconsequential and uninteresting. You excel at language, mathematics and philosophy. You are typically easy-going and non-confrontational until someone violates one of the very few principles that you deem sacred, at which point you can fly into a rage. Although you possess a much greater understanding of process and systems than the people around you, you are always conscious of the possibility that you've missed something or made a mistake. You don't tend to become attached to particular theories, and will immediately discard mistaken notions once they're revealed to be incorrect (but you don't tolerate iconoclasts who try to discredit validated theories through the use of fallacies and bad data). Despite being outwardly humble, you probably think of yourself as being smarter than most other people. That's because you are. In fact, in your dealings with people your understanding of their motives is so expansive that you know what they're going to say before they say it, and in world affairs, you usually know what is going to take place before it actually does. This ability would make you unbeatable in debates if only you were a little less pensive about your own conclusions, and a little more outgoing. Famous people like you: Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Adam Smith, Thomas Jefferson, John McWhorter, Ramanujan, Marie Curie, Kurt Godel Stay clear of: Apollo, Icarus, Hermes, Aphrodite Seek out: Atlas, Prometheus, Daedalus

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: alt="free online dating" src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0> http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0> You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion alt="free online dating" src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0> http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0> You scored higher than 99% on Intuition alt="free online dating" src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0> http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0> You scored higher than 99% on Emotiveness alt="free online dating" src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0> http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is2.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0> You scored higher than 99% on Perceptiveness

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test