I'm weary and dispirited

I'm heading to bed as soon as I'm done his because I'm not getting enough sleep. Once again there just aren't enough hours in the day and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I went to the Learning Disabilities resource Centre today and got a tutor for Xander. I don't think I'm admitting defeat, but it feels like I've let him down on some level, even though I know we've been really working hard at the reading. He needs something different, and I think maybe someone different, to get him back on track at least. Its like I was saying to him today - when he goes to swim lessons, he does things for his teachers he'd never do for me, likewise with dance and musical theatre and skating...It isn't usually a problem with jobs and work he likes, such as math or science or socials. But other jobs, or things that feel too much like work, he'll dig in his heels. So hopefully this will e a good thing for him - its certainly pricey enough! But I have to get over the feelings of not meeting his needs in terms of reading/literacy, and let someone else help. I still think he's 100% better off than he'd be at a school.

And then I feel like I've been letting others down - I haven't been in contact with camp people, or sent away the tape I haven't made. we haven't done thank you cards for Xander's presents, I haven't uploaded my Hollyhock music and sent it out, or contacted any of the people from there that I meant to.

I'm behind on laundry, dishes, and all the housework that got halfway done before we got the computers, which I've failed to set up. plus moving the bunny cage, finishing setting up our daycare space, getting Xander's work completely going. Creating a unit study of ancient Greece and the mythology. registering him for other swim lessons, exploring music lessons or other active classes. I missed out on any dance or arts classes for myself, which is fine, since I'm doing choir and Rob'll be gone or busy with events most nights anyways.

I haven't started an eating plan, or even tried to keep junk food out of the house and out of my body. I haven't been walking the dog, or getting any exercise, or enough sleep. I'm not taking care of myself.

I've been too busy to archive Rob's reviews - not that I know where they all are right now, actually. I'm neglecting him too.

I know things are actually going very well. I just spend so much of my time ensuring others are content, or happy, or cared for and already I've let my own stuff slide. I feel I can't do good stuff for me (other than choir, which has become a physiological need) until I do all the things I need to do, as listed above, and then some.

But the reality is that the house is a mess, I'm not where I should be for homeschooling (I have to submit our lesson plan pronto), I'm physically in rough shape and need to pull it together...

Arg!

Anyways, this is far too depressing and negative, which I'm trying not to be, so I shall stop right here.

Sleep should help!