Its been a long while

And I won't write much right now. Have had a crazy (but grand) January, which began with a road trip to Disneyland with the little lad and a good friend, and closed with a trip to New York with hubby and the boyo...

House a disaster, craziness and a touch of the stomach flu in the middle, but a very excellent start to the year.

If February follows suit, ending as it begins, we're in trouble, though...
the dear little boyo has pneumonia. Caught it early - thanks to the not-too-subtle cues from his aching and highly feverish body - temperature ranged from 103 to 105...for 36 hours with no other real symptoms - he puked at the onset, once, and again today upon being moved into the van, but no other stomach bug signs. The Montessori and daycare where I work and he hangs out has been decimated by both a stomach virus and a really bad bronchial type cold/infection - 9 staff away Friday, but it was okay because an equal percentage of kids were away. Curse all those parents who sent sick kids knowing they were sick, though! It's so hard on the kids who need to be tucked in at home and it keeps the germs spreading for so much longer. I especially get frustrated about those who are stay at home parents who don't even have the excuse of not being able to book time off work. And I say that as a very part-time parent who homeschools and stays home most of the time, not in a belittling way to those who are fortunate enough to be home. But really, people!

But boyo is on hefty meds and should be fine in a couple of days. That's not what is currently bothering me...

I'm in a really amazing choir. I would say its life-altering, in the same was NWTC has been, for many of the same reasons, and in many of the same ways. There are 350 in the choir most sessions, and we raise funds for both power of hope, and amazing program for youth, and for Kappassani, a village in Mozambique. I can't say enough good things about the people who lead it, or those who volunteer to keep it going, or all the super supportive people around me, especially my gang of fellow low altos.

We have concerts this weekend, one this past Friday, on tomorrow (today - Sunday). I bought my parents tickets for tomorrow, for Christmas. Its not something they'd seek out but I'm pretty confident they'll enjoy it. Before we left for NYC, I reminded mom about the concert a couple of times, letting her know it was the very next weekend after we returned, and we pretty soundly told off the second time, as it was "on the calendar". I stopped reminding, since it was made very clear I needn't bother, and that being reminded was not the thing to do.

You can see where this is going...I called today to confirm and set up meeting time for after, and let them know about Mr. X's illness, and reached my dad who had no idea what I was talking about. Turns out my sister is visiting from the Mainland and she and my mom went off shopping. Logically, I'd be seething with resentment about my sister being there, and all that goes with it, but truly, I'm not at all bothered by that. Intellectually, I'm surprised that I'm not, but I know she and mom have fun shopping and it means I, who am not a shopper, don't need to fill that space in the family dynamics.

I'm more upset by the fact that after I was told to quit reminding my mom, she not only forgot, but much worse seems completely unapologetic - and here's the kicker - I can't shake this feeling of guilt!!! I feel bad for my dad who has to drive my sister to the ferry up-Island - there's understandable reasons why she can't take the one close to here, though that sucks for him. She's not changing her schedule - she was going to take that earlier ferry regardless. But driving has been hard on him since he's had knee replacement surgery, and he'll be spending about 5 hours total driving tomorrow, though it will be broken up. Mom could drive, but won't, because the roads will be wet. They could miss it and I'd eat the ticket cost, since the tickets are for such a good cause. R and Mr X will be home due to the pneumonia anyways, so we're out the money for those 2 and I won't be able to sell them.

Its more the complete sense that its an obligation to come down, and a chore and not on their list of things they'd want to do. And I can't help but feel that if R and the boy were going to be meeting them they'd be much more excited - I'm far from the main attraction these days. I should have learned from the last gift I gave that involved tickets not to bother, but I thought this might be a good way to get them out of the house. Now its the last thing I want. I feel guilty, and angry at feeling guilty and at the situation. What makes it worse is that choir is one of the best things that has happened in recent memory and it's going to be sullied tomorrow, though I'll try not to let it be, and hopefully they'll be so wowwed it will make it all different. I just feel sick about it right now. And maybe sick regardless, as I'm fighting a cold, which will make singing harder.

Arg.

That's it for now...

Time to get the good feelings back, as I know they're there somewhere.
And time to hit the sack or I'll be yawning my way through the songs!