If I had a Pensieve, just like Dumbledore's....

...I might have a somewhat better idea of what's going on!

I guess its because life has just started to ramp up into full swing again...I feel a little like I'm going crazy, and a little like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. There are so many things to keep track of right now -

Tomorrow, for instance:

• Rob's launch party at Bolen Books
• keep track of his crazy schedule for the day - CFAX at 9:30, lunch with his editor at 1:00, dinner with family, editor and the lovely owner of the store he works at, plus the launch
• I need to keep his schedule in mind for the driving around I'll be needed to do, so I can then somehow plan my day to fit into it
• need to finish shopping for the launch
• remember to bring in the cheese and crackers from here - early in the day
• need to go back to work (ick! today was not great) and actually try to set up a space for kids in a room that has been turned into storage/a dumping ground (literally 12 square feet in the dead centre of the room was piled with boxes and bags that needed to be sorted...evidently by yours truly. That meant I couldn't get any of my stuff set up...)
• gotta figure out and if needed, iron clothes for us for tomorrow night
• clean pet cages and litterboxes, etc., plus garbage out for early Wed. morning - which means doing it Tuesday evening
• get us showered and presentable, including doing nails and brows and all that girlie stuff (possibly a trip to the pool if I can fit it in)
• do some schoolwork with Xander- he's on a self-imposed schedule to finish some leftover pages from the grade 2 math book before grade 2 officially begins, so he can start the grade 3 book on the very first day (his new goal is grade 3 and 4 math done before he finishes grade 2...at this rate he'll be doing grade 12 math in grade 6...I think we'll need a tutor!)
• packing for first thing Wednesday morning (Vancouver launch Wednesday night!) - a bit more laundry too

Anyways, there's more for tomorrow - meeting up with my parents, doing all sorts of little things at the launch to keep friends and family comfortable...

None of it is huge and I'll cope with it all...but in the olden days (pre-thyroid and unknown syndromes), I'd have been on top of it all, no panic attacks, no stress about forgetting something really important. Its the knowledge that I'm not in control any more that is the worst...I lose track of time constantly and even if I write things down, I'm at risk of trouble - for instance I have lost my daybook one ay after finding it...and I'm in dire need of it right now.

For the past year I've been using Outlook to organize myself...but its only helpful when I'm home to check it.

See - I just remembered that I have library books due tomorrow too - but that because its in Outlook and I was thinking about it.

Anyways, I don't mean to use this as a weeping and wailing and complaining sort of place. It's just hard when things all seem to happen at once like this. And I have no reliable long or short term memory.

What else? I had a killer craving for natchos - and not the semi-healthy salsa and grated cheese with veggies thrown in...no, the melted cheese sauce - just like they had at the Stardust Roller Rink when I was a kid. The greasy, oozing, gross stuff that makes the chips get soggy...so I melted some cheese whiz (tex-mex and regular, with a splash of milk) and poured it over the chips. Satisfied the craving but what a dumb thing to do. I feel very horrid right now. Yuck!!!

I'm really pleased with Xander's retention of school stuff over the summer. We weren't going to take a break, but since the summer was so full and busy, it kind of happened. He has some pages to go before he finishes the math book, as I said before, and I figured we'd have to relearn stuff, but his addition and subtraction facts are pretty solid, which is very cool. We did practice orally every once in a while, but he was really resistant to it, and it wasn't worth pushing it.

And his reading - still incredibly low, but he was reading road signs on our most recent trip - with some help of course, but successfully, and it really gave him a boost. He an remember a few words to spell suddenly as well - simple things like 'the', 'and', 'is', etc., but for him, that's actually huge. He spontaneously did journal today too - with me helping with some spelling. He;s maintained his printing, for the most part, though he still has trouble with some uppercase letters. Overall, I'm thrilled. There is definitely a maturity there and a readiness for the next level, which will make homeschooling good this year.

Ummmm...I think there was something else I wanted to say. Before I Wake went all the way up to 6th position on Amazon today and never went above 12, which is incredible and amazing...let's hope it keeps strong as more people read it and tell their friends! Rob's riding an incredible high right now, and rightfully so. Its amazing to see his hard work really pay off like this.

Time for bed, if I can turn my brain off....easier said than done and I still don't have a handle on tomorrow's timeline for when I'll things done...that's what I want my daybook for...

Wait!!! I believe I left it at the Montessori - won't help me now, but at least I know where it is...funny how that just floated to the cognizant portion of the brain and I was ready to fish it out...you never know what'll float up - you just have to be ready to act on it when it does!