Wonderings

Well, it's my 4th day at Hollyhock, and I'm settled in. I'll write more from home about some of my experiences as I process them. The music and singing have been lovely. Lots of 4 part harmonies that resonate and sound marvelous in the beautiful space we sing in. We've also been outside singing to the sea and the gardens. Last night we had an open sing where a lot of the community came and joined us too.

This all feels superficial to write. It has not been at all the level of intimacy or closeness that I expected... I assumed something not like camp but closer to it than everyday life, but this is really like any other workshop, in a beautiful setting. Its supposed to be very holistic and open and all that jazz, but people are all guarded and reserved, even after so many days. They don't make eye contact on paths, or often say good morning or hello - I know because I always do, in my most chipper, friendly, outgoing version of myself, which is hard to be, and I get responses less than 50% of the time, easily.And no one says good night. They just wander off. I actually called home late one night with incredibly poor cell phone reception just so I had someone to say good night to. The night before I said goodnight in my tent to all my loved ones all on my own. Which I realize sounds horribly pathetic, but its a tradition and ritual I've always known and I miss it when its not there. I like my contact with people.
Those of you who know how tactile I am will understand how its just killing me not to feel I can even pat someone on the shoulder as I pass them on my way to a table.
So I have lots of wonderings about the causes of this and am doing lots of exploring in my journal, so I am sure that I'll eventually explore them more here.

Tonight I'm going on a bioluminescent kayak, out under the sunset, then into dark, to play with the plankton that glows at night. I'm incredibly excited - I could do similar at home, but there are absolutely no city lights for miles and miles, to detract from the glow. AND I just found out it's the meteor showers as well, so I'll have a double treat. I am incredibly pumped about it.
And then tomorrow, after an apparently amazing organic pancake breakfast, and one more singing session, I pack up and head back home to my house and my boys and my pets and all that is good in my life with a better appreciation for them!
Singing session for the morning starts in 10 minutes, so I'm off!