There's a chill in the air...

And things are changing.

I'm a Summer girl. Capital 'S', you read that right. Summer. I manage fall, come alive mid-spring, but really, summer is where I'm all that I can be. And tonight, this evening, actually, there was a decided chill in the air. More than just a summer breeze off the ocean. A taste of fall coming sooner than I'd like.

Yes, I know that summer lasts well into fall here, or at least comes and goes. But not true Summer, of hot, lazy days and warm relaxed nights. Of kicking around barefoot - flip flops at the most, in swinging skirts and tank tops, splashing in oceans and lakes, sunset after bedtime, sunrise early in the morning. Meteor showers, birthdays (mine and Xander's), no school, less structure to my days...I have a joy in the summers that doesn't return until the next year. And in the deepest, darkest days of winter, I have the hardest time remembering what summer even feels like.

So while I'm busy trying to pack the final weeks of summer full of fun and activities, trying to capitalize on the natural high and boundless energy and enthusiasm for such things as getting in shape and losing weight, cleaning house and mind, I know that the days are numbered and am saddened by the thought. Here goes...it's a lousy trade-off, 3 months of this high for 9 months of increasing sadness and stress. I'm always hopeful that this will be the year that things will be different, this year I'll have energy, feel better, etc. Not that I'm completely down, or my whole fall, winter and spring suck. But it becomes increasingly hard as the year progresses to be motivated, to have energy or drive, to get the things done that I need to do. I don't know if living in warmer climes, where they don't get the seasonal blues, would make a difference. Sometimes I think I'd like to give it a try. But south of here means leaving Canada, most likely for the States, and that's not something I'm prepared to do right now.

Anyways, let's leave that behind, because I still have a few weeks left!

I wanted to say that, on the journey home from Hollyhock, I had a fabulous conversation with another lady from my workshop. We sat on the ferry and just talked, which neither of us had done while there. I wish we had, because it turns out she was as lonely as I was, and was getting exactly the same vibes that I did...the guarded feelings from others, the lack of safety to completely be herself...all the things I've written about. It was really good to have that talk, and important too. It was what I needed for closure on those 5 days, which were not at all what I had expected, and certainly not what I had anticipated and hoped for. I am eternally grateful for that time and opportunity to really connect, even if it was on the way home.

Our schedule had completely gone crazy, as I said the other day, and its a bit scary to contemplate. We are at a huge turning point in our lives and they will never, ever be the same as they are right now. Soon Rob will begin touring, and the publicity will hit and from there...who knows what will happen. I hope we weather all the transitions this will bring. We'll have to take it all one day at a time...I'm excited and a bit trepadatious. I can't imagine what Rob must be going through.

Nothing witty to add at this point, just loads on my mind, as always. Maybe its a good thing I have no short term memory...I forget my worries regularly - not all of them, but enough!